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The day, however, is so glorious. Patients are walking to and from their meeting points. I’m not sure where Karen went. I hear the voice in the background now, and although I cannot see her, I can hear her presence.As usual these psychiatrists are using me and my family to fill their research books. The human guinea pigs of these mental institutions are the patients who stay here. Sex is on my mind, and a blow job would suit me just fine.Karen has just spoken with me. She tells me that I am setting myself up for self-destruction. The slightest remark may set me off or make me angry. She is a good person who cares so much about everyone, and I guess she takes pity on me. She doesn’t understand, however, that the last thing I need is for someone to feel sorry for me. I have enough trouble feeling sorry for myself. I enjoy self-pity at any rate, for it has a cathartic effect. It allows me to cry without anyone seeing me. It allows me to understand my problems by myself without anyone. If I was willing to smear myself in that way, it wasn't like I would be showing up to defend myself. Henry, in a relationship with three girls. He up and leaves one night, leaving a mountain of debt and four totally dependent women who now rely on each other."I ... well, if we're going to..." The idea seemed awful to me but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. "I ... think we better make sure that I'm not going to change back before we do that." So ... how do you propose we do that?" Julie asked, her voice dropping into a sultry tone. "I thought you didn't want to." I..." I sighed, contemplating the inevitable. I wanted to, I truly did. I loved Trish and Julie. I just was still scared about the idea of really, truly having sex as a woman. "You do get why I'm nervous about it." Baby, If I didn't get it, I wouldn't have waited." Trish reassured me."Can you three ... do I really have to hear this?" Courtney asked, sinking heavily into her seat. "It's not like I don't.
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